Deb Smouse

Ages ago, I was diagnosed as an ENTJ on the Meyer’s Briggs Type Indicator….the “E” part meaning “extrovert”….but when I am out in public alone….i tend to be more of an introvert…. watching the folks around me. I like the interaction of couples….the seasoned road warriors, and the harried parents….

I am noticing this because I am sitting in a very busy Admirals Club today…..

Sometimes, I wonder, though, if my moments of withdrawal are leading me to be more of an introvert rather than the extrovert I always was. I don’t approach folks for conversation…. and at times seem to be lost in my own little world, though I do respond if spoken to.

When I traveled for my previous career, I did my best to blend in and not be noticed. I am good at matching an area in dress, and being a quiet guest. At times, it’s as if I can sit in a room full of people and it’s as if I don’t exist. I did notice that the employees of my favorite hotels knew me, but I think it was usually because I had regular eating habits,and treated the staff politely. I remember this one time, in Philadelphia, the doorman asked me how Texas was….and I asked how he knew I was from Texas - and he said it was because he remembered me. I asked how on earth, with the sheer volumes of people, he would remember one person who had visited a couple of months before, and his answer surprised me.

It’s because you saw me, and most people tend to pretend I don’t exist, even though I was the one who opened the door for them.

I think at times I feel like the doorman, so I understood.

But it still doesn’t answer me as to where I am when it comes to my ability to interact with strangers. And if somehow, in my time of trying to not be noticed, I switched vowels.