Deb Smouse

Changing routines and habits is so hard sometimes.

I chose three words for 2008 instead of making resolutions….but along with that were some general goals. I can do the passion, though at times it’s so much safer to sit back and hide in my room instead of going out. I think when I spend all day with folks in meetings, I am just ready for bed.

I haven’t decided, though, which is going to be the hardest: courage or forgiveness.

Breaking the habits of being harder on myself is going to be….well…hard. I think yesterday is a prime example….since I was at work and traveling instead of being at the hospital. By the end of the day I was simply exhausted mentally….stopped at the hotel bar…had a couple of drinks…..told a friend to go ahead and watch the game with some guys from work - and went to bed.

It wasn’t until this morning when I got up that I realized part of what I had done to myself. My worries and mental flagellation all day did a number on my mind, my spirit…and it bleeds over to your body.

I am still exhausted….

Part of the courage part, I think, is starting fresh each day….putting the stress of the day before behind me….

I think I need some breakfast…and we’ll go from there….